Funny Russian Dating Profiles
At the stage of dating, the man is the knight, and the woman is the princess whose heart he wants to win. He should act gentlemanly, plan romantic dates, do his best to impress a woman, give flowers and compliments. What Russian women expect from a relationship. Russian girls expect their dating to smoothly transform into a committed relationship. Awful Profile Pictures From Russian Dating Sites - We share because we care. A resource for sharing the latest memes, jokes and real stuff about parenting, relationships, food, and recipes. 47 Of The Weirdest Russian Dating Site Profile Pictures. The Bermuda Triangle. There are some things in this universe that man will never understand, and dating online in Russia is definitely one of them. Behold, the unfathomable oddities of profile pictures on Russian dating sites: 1. Funny russian dating site pictures Online dating video profiles. Hey Mom, Call Me When You Find My Wife. Posted on July 14, 2020 August 22, 2020.
Jan 27, 2021 - Russian have their own way to enjoy life, and these ridiculous dating profile pictures confirm it. Take a look at these miserably fail Russian Social Network profile.
If you’ve been online dating for any amount of time, you’ve seen bad profiles. They’re either sparse, copied from someone more clever, use The Office as a character trait, or are completely blank. Then, you come across the perfect profile. It might be five words, three paragraphs, or a hilarious photo, but either way you’re in stitches. We’ve scoured the internet (and the best dating apps) to pull together a list of some of the funniest dating profiles.
1. The Truth
You’re smart. This ain’t your first rodeo. And You’re not about to fall for the preposterous claims made by so many of the profiles on this site. So here’s a refreshing perspective—the truth.
I pay my mortgage. I wear socks that match. I’m an honest man, with a decent career and strong values. So While I could regale you with stories of my trips to Paris or how I resemble Ryan Gosling…I know that good communication’s a foundation for every relationship. So if we’re on the same wavelength, read on…
2. Exaggeration
I am a rocket scientist. I’ve appeared on the cover of GQ—twice. And after mastering Italian, I became an international super spy. Right now, I’m yachting my way across the Caribbean, stealing top-secret information, and sipping mai tais…shaken, not stirred.
…Okay, fine. I exaggerated *just* a smidge. But I do like a good mai tai and I got a B+ in my 5th grade science class.
3. Blurbs
“He’s a beast…in the kitchen” – Food & Wine
“Our go-to guy for fashion advice” – GQ
“I wish he was my personal trainer.” – The Hulk
“God made him so firemen would have a hero” – every fireman ever
“I’m so glad she swiped right” – your mom
What else do you need to know?
4. J/K!
Married with a baby on the way. Prefer the term “collector” to “hoarder.” Bonus points if you can look after my gerbil collection.
And: J/K! Single consultant who loves surfing. Into daily exercise so I don’t feel guilty when I grab ice cream.
Your turn…Do you prefer swimming, dancing, or a 24-hour Netflix marathon?
5. A Few of My Favorite Things
I like…
The Frito smell of dog paws.
When I randomly decide to call an old friend and they say “I was just thinking about you!”
The way little kids get grumpy and confused when they’re tired.
That moment I get that Bumble BOOM! Message, and know someone I liked is into me too.
6. Goblin
Passionate goblin with 10+ years of experience, seeking to increase profitability for National Goblin Association. At — Goblin headquarters, slashed costs by 32% in 6 months by implementing Bloodletting training across all departments. Cut stockroom waste by 65% with new garbage binging techniques. Skilled in bone cleaning, whispering while in the dark, and proficient in Microsoft office.
7. The Girl You Can Take Home to Your Family
I’m the kinda girl you can take home to your family. I will then get closer to them than you are and we’ll slowly phase you out.
8. Alpha Male
I hope you like alpha males because I’m your guy. That’s right, I’m the whole package. I’ll defend your honor in public, won’t take shit from waiters, and I’ll even get you pregnant, leave, and then come back to eat the child.
9. Christmas Tree
Funniest Dating Profiles
My brother once put me through a Christmas tree wrapping machine then my parents put me in the boot for the ride home.
10. Best Travel Story
I was in New Orleans when the Eagles won the Super Bowl. Long story short, my nipple may or may not have been pierced.
11. Not Down to Earth
I’m not down to earth at al. If you don’t reply to my text I will turn up to your house drunk at 3 o’clock in the morning crying and trying to break in. I hate drinking tea and doing craft. I hate bicycles, the beach, sunshine, and parks. And Cider, I hate Cider.
12. Definitely Not a Murderer
My self-summary
I’m a fun loving guy and a self-starter who has absolutely no interest in committing murder. I’m looking for love, companionship, or just that one lovely evening (and rest assured that that one lovely evening will absolutely end with you back at your house, safe, and sound!) Let me take you into my magical world of not murdering anyone, ever, for any reason.
What I’m doing with my life
I’ll tell you this right up front: Certainly not murdering ANYONE, least of all you! Beyond that, mostly digging.
13. A Terrible Liar
My self-summary
Here are the quick and dirty facts so you can get back to clicking through my photos: I’m a terrible liar and an excellent +1. You can usually find me managing my investments, hitting the gym, or catching up with a friend over cocktails and tapas. And I’m incredibly judgemental…when it comes to T-bone steaks. Otherwise, I’m pretty easygoing. 😉
Funny Russian Dating Profiles Facebook
What I’m doing with my life
When I’m not in the ER, you can often find me visiting the kind of far flung destination that requires a passport. Remote locations like Santiago or Zanzibar have always spoken to me. But usually it’s in Spanish or Swahili…so I can’t understand a word they’re saying.
14. The Best Thing on the Internet
About Me
Ladies, your time has come. I’m serious – stop reading and message me right away, because I am the best thing that could ever happen to you on the internet. Better than gym selfies. Better than 14 Facebook likes. And even better than kitten GIFs. Okay, okay, maybe not better than those. Because what can top that?
If we’re being honest, I’m probably not really the “best thing” ever. I have falws too. First of all, I don’t have Jon Snow’s flowing locks. I sometimes wash my lights with my darks. And I never ask for directions – ever.
Maybe you can see past that thought? 😉
As for my career… Well, I got my first taste of what it means to be an entrepreneur when I was a kid, selling 25 cent cups of lemonade and giving away free extra-salty potato chips. I’ve since moved up to buying and selling Internet comapnies, but I still love Lay’s potato chips.
I’m a non-apologetic big city dweller at heart, but that doesn’t stop me from rounding up friends on a beautiful weekend and hitting the ski slopes, or grabbing my mountain bike for some trail riding. And I’m always thinking about my next trip… I hear good things about New Zealand.
As for the woman I’d like to meet… Your friends would describe you as “intelligent,” “ambitious,” and “kleptomaniacal”… Okay, maybe not the last one. And while I love potatoes in most of their forms, “couch potato” isn’t one of them. Physical fitness is important to you, as it is to me. And while you don’t have to host your own NatGeo show, having a few awesome travel stories wouldn’t hurt.
15. Cute and Smart
Respiratory Therapy Student
Cute enough to take your breath away, smart enough to bring it back.
Funny Dating Profile Ideas
16. Mat
I’m just hoping you don’t walk all over me 😉
17. Forever Single
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Will I be single all my life
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why is everyone in russia so ugly
14So is everyone from any country if you’re gonna pick the worst examples from their dating sites.
1As if Americans are A+ specimen per se…
6communism does that
6Communism
6I think Underwear Lightning Boy is kind of hot.
2Russians ugly? I can’t speak for men, but Russian women are hella hot. You couldn’t be further from the truth.
2Last pic proofs you wrong.
2In gallery Russians Sure Do Know How To Party that is.
1Russian women are hot from the ages of 18-25. After they break 30, they turn into babushkas. What you want are Japanese women. They retain the body and face of an 18 year old until they’re ~50ish. At which point they turn into trolls. But by then, you’re either dead or your hotdog no longer works so it’s irrelevant. My Brother is 40, he married a Japanese girl (from Japan, they both live there) who was 26. It’s perfect because when he’s 60, she’s only 46. When she starts looking nasty, he’ll be dead. He’s a genius.
It appears that Russians have slightly different sense of what is erotic. But then what do I know of eroticism or sensuality? I think Mrs. Potatohead has a nice shape. Mmm, those lips.
2Tear down these profiles!
2I am not saying that pictures are not funny, in the west Russians seem exotic, wild and funny, but in fact almost one third of the Baltic population are WW2 russian occupation descendants, they are arrogant, agressive, retarded and disrespect our culture for 70 years already.
6Exotic? … Sure.
1
Funny name